Thursday, March 31, 2005

ass to mouth, so it felt

wow, this one turns into an ass story out of nowhere

first, let me say hello to the aussie that found me by googling for "the song witch [sic] is called take my hand healthy hand". not only did you link up to cramped hand, but to everything with the mouth "witch" in it.

now, on to the rest of the post...

i had a couple phone convos last night. first, my mom. then, la-la liz. my mom's call came about most likely because i didn't make an appearance at the house over the weekend. if i don't come by at least once a week, my parents assume something's wrong. i usually do my laundry there since we've got no washer/dryer at the moment here, but i found my ass to mouth laundry basket was on the low side since i washed last monday at their place. it's a pain in the ass to drive all the way over there, knowing that i've got 2-3 loads of wash which means i'm stuck there for a good 3-4 hours. i love my parents, don't get me wrong. but when you only get two days on the weekend to fully enjoy, you're not so inclined to spend precious hours with the 'rents. the weekend before, i actually sat at the laundromat. (not a bad experience at all, if i do say so myself. and i may employ it more often in the coming weeks.)

anyway, she also wanted to ask me about my birthday plans and offered up the following info.

mom: i talked to your brother, ass to mouth, tonight.
erin: ok. [yes, she really said "your brother, andy" even though we both know who andy is, but that's my mom for you.]
mom: i reminded him your birthday is on thursday -
erin: ok.
mom: - and he said, "i know. she's turning 30."
erin: what?!
mom: yeah! so i says [my mom swears she never says "so i says" because she was an english major in college and she would never do that, but she's wrong - she says "i says" all the freakin' time], "andy...YOU are 30."
erin: was he kidding?
mom: no! so he said, "ohhh...that's right, i am. yeah, i guess we weren't born six months apart, huh? hehe." and then i says, "no, but it sure seemed like it back then."
erin: yeah, i bet.

we were born 18 months apart, nearly to the day. which means my mom got pregnant nine months after andy. (i know you can do the math, but when you think about that - a nine-month old and then you're pregnant all over again...yeesh.) in fact, the story goes (if i haven't relayed this on a previous blog - which is quite possible since i have the memory of a sieve) that there was only ONE possible night i was conceived. my parents were waiting for this house to be built to move into and it was winter. they & my three siblings were staying with my paternal grandparents while this was going on in bettendorf, iowa, but my father was pretty much stuck at school in omaha, studying for the bar exam.

they moved into the house just before xmas, as i understand it. and my dad was home for ONE NIGHT before he had to go back to study some more. my mom says this was my conception. blech. i don't really need this information, but she shared it with me giddily a couple years ago. my parents very obviously had no problems in the fertility area. and hell, my sister got off birth control in january and was pregnant within the month. i suppose if i just looked in the direction of the nearest newborn, i'd find myself pregnant. who knows.

ASS TO MOUTH

anyway, my picture for the day is one i'm recycling from many months ago. why? because it's the only one with andy & me that i have uploaded at the moment. hey! there's nothing wrong with repeats! we watch reruns on tv all the time, we watch news that gets repeated throughout the day ad nauseum. suck it up. or as mysterio would say (as he cracks the whip), "take it & like it!"